Hey, I'm Derek. I like video games and spend way too much time on the internet. Aspiring game artist/animator/designer/whatever.
Steam: ColeTrain
League of Legends: colonelearth
“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’mNOT. About to start NOW.”
-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut
Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this
I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing
so lady comes through drive thru. “Hi what can I get for you?” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?” “No” “Alright, you can pull up” and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?”
I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice
“Hi how are you today?”
She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.”
I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.” “I know what you meant. But it was rude.” “Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.” She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy) I’m like “… ok”
So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do.
“Hi, can I help you?” “Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.” “Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.” Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.” She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.” Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.” “Oh”
Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?” Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.” Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?
So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss “And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.” boss goes “We don’t do that here.” “yea you do.” “No we don’t.” “yea you do.” “Have a good day.”
Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.
anyway normalize women not wanting children as a happy ending
its NOT a happy ending, for a majority of women. Having kids, especially for women, is an intrinsic biological desire. If you are a person who genuinely has no desire for kids or god forbid dislikes kids, that is an anomaly - you might have some trauma or mental/emotional hangups that you have to work out of, or you could be autistic or some other thing. But Its not normal to not want kids. Living childless does and will make women miserable. Dying without kids in, in fact, a bad ending for the vast majority of women.
there is something so deeply wrong with you baby girl
Tumblr, buddy, listen to me. This is an unprecedented opportunity. You can snap up all of the pie here, and become defacto internet goodguy easy. All you gotta do is… drop the nsfw ban. Unambiguously. Announce that dicks are back on the menu. You want people subscribed the blogs? You want people to actually use your Post+ function? Porn. Let us use it for porn. The youngins aren’t joining this site anyway, you’re not competing with tiktok. The vaguely horny 20-40 demographic though? You can have that. You can have all of that. Think about it.
Do you know how many pinup artists alone are itching to come back to tumblr, but dont because of the unclear, seemingly arbitrary application of your nsfw policy? These are insanely talented people who are practically begging to give you content. For free. But you gotta change the policy. We can’t keep dancing around this. Just think of publicity. The drama. A complete 180. You’d kill it tumblr. You could make it happen. Please.
‘But the app stores–’
Fuck you, the app is hot garbage, revert the site to something that can be viewed on a regular mobile web browser and get rid of all the dashboard sillystring that no one asks for/everyone goes out of their way to circumvent as much as possible.
the nature of social media during the second weekend of june is that people will just make posts going “this looks like shit” “ugh, how pathetic” “there he is, the prince of lies” with zero context and you just have to piece together that todd howard is on stage somewhere talking about video games
why are ghosts always person-sized in the movies? they don’t have bodies anymore. one of ‘em should have figured out how to work that shit. one of them could be … her 😳
My robot GF runs windows 95 so this is very easy. Hell, sometimes we don’t even make it to the sex before I’m having to ctrl-alt-delete her.
fun fact: why I wrote this shitpost, I had a windows 95 VM running upstairs on my computer. I didn’t know it at the time, but it had already bluescreened.
